Relationship counselling
If you and your partner have reached the stalemate stage and it seems as if nothing will resolve your arguments, you might want to consider seeing a counsellor to help you discuss and explore your problems and try to salvage your relationship.
The first big hurdle is getting your partner to agree to see a counsellor, which might take a bit of persuasion. However, if they are serious about saving your relationship, they will hopefully see the benefit of having counselling when you explain what it involves.
Don’t be daunted by the thought of revealing your most personal and intimate problems with a counsellor – they’re trained to deal with such things. Their job is to provide positive support and guidance in an impartial and non-judgemental manner. A good counsellor will listen to both of you and encourage you to explore the issues at the root of your arguments and problems in order to help you resolve the conflict between you. The key is communication – a lack of it is what causes the breakdown of most relationships. Counselling therefore helps you and your partner to reopen the lines of communication and express yourselves openly and honestly.
The biggest fear that most couples have about counselling is the embarrassment of talking about their personal issues. Just remember, though, that the counsellor will have heard it all before and will be used to dealing with it – from arguments and affairs to sex problems.
Some counsellors deal with general relationship guidance, whereas others specialise in specific areas such as sex therapy, marriage breakdowns and family life. The biggest provider of guidance services in the UK is Relate,www.relate.org.uk, who can help couples by phone, email or face-to-face. For details of other relationship counsellors, get in touch with the British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy (www.basrt.org.uk) or the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (www.bacp.co.uk). Alternatively, if there are other issues affecting your relationship such as gambling, debt or alcohol abuse, you may want to get in touch with organisations such as Gamblers Anonymous (www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk) the Consumer Credit Counselling service (www.cccs.co.uk) or Alcoholics Anonymous (www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk).
